is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
