So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
