Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
