Me too!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
