It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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