I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
