R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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