Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
