Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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