Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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