we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
