On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
