Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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