a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
