I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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