its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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