I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
