Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
