Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
