youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I deserve this hangover.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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