He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
