I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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