SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
