super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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