Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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