I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
