This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
