dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
