Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
