Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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