I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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