i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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