she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
