sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
