Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
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His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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