Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
