WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She told me I should be a condom model.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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