Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
do herpes really smell.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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