Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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