real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
