I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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