I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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