STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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