Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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