We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
