I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
