She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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