But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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