really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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