he shaved USA in his pubs
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
