Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
