5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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