She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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