Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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