idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
