You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
