We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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