my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
